would you put lizards in your TV set?

On the infrequent occasions I have visited the wilderness of that dear place Scotland it has become apparent that I have a slightly unreasonable fear of snakes. I’m not afraid of their bitey nature. Although thinking about it, I find my heart rate has gone up a little. What I am afraid of is the possibility that poor snakey will be alarmed by me almost standing on him and seek shelter up my trouser leg. The reason I tell you about this is that here we have the nicest little lizard things. Only about 9cm nose to tail and available in lime and black current flavours. As I walk down to the university each day, when the sun is out, the sit on the pavement basking in the heat. A nice lizard life I imagine, but they are quick to startle and that’s my problem. What if, in their panic, one darts up my trouser leg? I have considered the possibility of using some kind of flexible wall, to fit snugly around the ankle and secure against the wall of the trouser of choice. This would of course make me look completely mental and as such I have added it to the list of things not to do, but as I look at the pages, society is looking increasingly prohibitive and inflexible. I may have to go underground…