Not to accelerate the need for, but

Not to tempt fate or anything, but why do death notices so frequently request "No Flowers" at the funeral?

If at any point in the future I require your attendance at such an event, assassination or something might interfere with my planned immortality I suppose, please note I want flowers. Tonnes of the buggers. preferably lillies, the stargazer's smell fantastic! But don't hold back, roses, rare orchids, hell if you feel "He'd have liked a rubber plant" so be it. Can you have a service in the botanic gardens? Let's not get away from the solemnity, none of that it should be a party, a celebration of his life. I want wailing and weeping. If no one really cares, then spend a few quid on professional mourners, but don't cut too far into the flower fund.
One last thing, if anyone suggests playing "always look on the brightside" I want their life force & whatever organ I need.

Bloody hate that chirpy optimism.