Street, The embalmer

So had a terrible moment today with dogface. There I was reading some really interesting chemistry text when Snackie (the dog that loves to snack) starts howling like Satan himself had just popped by for tea. Could I calm the hysterical flea bitten mound of dysfunction? Have I been canonised? No, on both counts, although I am very annoyed at the second…
So, out the door the creature is directed, at some speed I should mention, might have been something to do with me yelling STFU!! Anyway, there is, I hadn’t noticed before, a rather tight right hand turn on exiting my apartment, and if you don’t make the turn a rather fatal dead drop onto some very firm stone faced stairs. There is a railing, but the bottom bar is only slightly shorter than a standing Snackie. Now, I should mention, the dog made the turn, but only just. It was skidding and sliding, and in my mind the full horror played out for the rest of the afternoon, evening, now…
So, there is only one answer. We need to make the dog more grippy. I’ve checked on the internet, you can’t get trainers for dogs, not with non-marking soles anyway. There is only one reasonable solution, there is a pun here soon to be revealed. That is, shave the dog and coat it with latex rubber! It’s genius! How come I hadn’t thought of it before? It’ll grip, be rain proof and look cool. I’m thinking to do the torso in silver grey with the legs and head black. But I’m not sure. The tail presents difficulty. Is it painful to have this docked?
Anyway, I’ve ordered the latex. This is going to be cool.
Oh yeah, it likes sausages, the special stuff Hilary!!