Is there someone there?

When I initially decided that I would come over to Portugal I realised I’d have to get some foot in the door regarding language. In order to do this, I bought a book on grammar, a Portuguese/English dictionary and a couple of those “Teach Yourself Martian” type CDs. The first one that I got had all sorts of recommendations, “I was able to buy oxygen from locals without dying”, “I understood the dangers of going out without a spacesuit” and, “because of the knowledge of Martian, I knew that virtually every other mispronunciation resulted in some word for penis or euphemistic reference to sex”. Oh hang on that last one...

Mine, which were not for Martian, were of course for Portuguese, but they may as well have been. No where so far in my travels, Mr M. Cook, have I come across anyone who speaks in such a low register as to be impossible to locate in a darkened room.
Ok there are sounds that I just can’t resolve. At times I have been like a manic cartoon cat with a mouthful of tacks chasing these sounds around with my hammer, and can I nail them down? Nope, it’s like nailing a jellyfish to a wall. Even so, people do not sound as suicidal as Cook would have us think.

The country isn't populated with male voices destroyed by years of smoking 50 a day and copious amounts of Port wine. Not so. Most people speak well within our hearing registers and men are not moon lighting in clubs and discos as sub-woofers.


I don't advocate the nailing of Scyphozoanians (native or naturalised) to anything, vertical or otherwise orientated.

She used to be 12" taller and 6" thinner

I should point out, I don't see this so often here.


She was walking at a good speed. I should say, I think she was probably notably taller before she started. Also, I didn't see her lift this off her head, so it could have been nailed there. in which case I probably ran after and photographed an elderly victim of some horrible prank.

How come I now feel guilty for not knocking it off her head?

Nurse!! Nurse!!!

twice in two days!! madam, you excel yourself!!

I went to Porto yesterday and today. Yesterday it got late and I didn’t have a map or even a list of places to find, so it all proved a little futile in the end. I was completely knackered from being out the previous night and having had no sleep. Even me, chief lazy sod has difficulty in getting any effective sleeping done when I don’t get home until 9 am.
Today was a bit better planned and I went hunting for the record shops (do they still call them record shops?) and clothing shops, well they are clothes. So a bit of yomping brought me to a (sm)mall(ish). “Italia” it were called. This has a CD shop with a decent selection of industrial/rock stuff. Not much by way of alternative though, no pleasing some people.
I did see this though…

Photographed not only because of the young “lady” in the thigh high boots in the poster in the window.

They [the shop] looked like they might have something not too extreme. I’m such a frumpy industrial EBM fan.

I also saw this pretty lion, eating an eagle I think.

And some nicely situated vomiting griffins.

These I think, judging by the condition of the water had been out on Friday and Saturday, it was not a pretty sight.

Today’s music was wonderful and varied. High points included:

Icon of Coil – Regret
The Brian Jonestown Massacre – Prozac vs. Heroin
Telephone (We are) – Occupy
Big Black – L Dopa
Front 242 – WYHIWYG
How to Swim – A Little orgasm of disappointment
Interpol – Say hello to angels
K90 – Form of life
Ladytron – I’m with the Pilots

Friday feeling?

Hello world. It’s Friday and sunny here.

Once again I had started this damned blog and then it deleted and lost all my beautiful sentiments. Bastard!

So, I was coming down to the university today, it was sunny and warm and yet...
You know the feeling I'm sure. To clarify, this is a list of today's music.

Ultrahymn - Neurotic Fish
Slut - Velvet Acid Christ
Dimentia 66 (Lincoln mix) - My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult
CSKA Sofia - Ladytron
There's a light - The Smiths
Black again - Neurotic Fish
B Mashina - Laibach
Last ride together - I love you but I've chosen darkness
Joy – VNV Nation

Now, I had planned to find a link to each track on you tube or something, but I actually do work, so that wasn’t feasible. Initial searching suggested that most of the tracks I would have tried to link to aren’t available. So poo to that idea!

For the past few days I have been surviving in the computer, and hence very real, sense from the charity of m’colleague who very generously leant me her laptop charger, as mine decided on suicide on Wednesday morning. Thanks to her, her partner, and the infrastructure of HP for its rapid replacement.

Update on music. Smiley now, because of:

Cold – VNV Nation

This should link to the official download. Fantastic track. IMHO :o)


http://www.vnvnation.com/contents/download/cold_(rated_r_mix_by_mig-29).mp3

Classic preety Beetle

I saw this the other day.





Which I though wooo... look at the preety beetle. Then I saw the rear...

A 1950s Type I I think. Gorgeous condition.

I've forgotten the name of the arabian bloke with the cave of stuff

I was going to be asleep by now, but obviously, I’m not…
I made some chilli earlier using one of the magic powder mixes sent to me by stuffed badger. Unlike my dear mother I did not just add the mixture to the base element (usually meat) and hope for the best. I bolstered the whole thing up with red onions, courgettes, tomatoes and more garlic than you need for the entire Dracula back catalogue. Naturally (or maybe un-naturally) it expanded to twice its intended mass and thus I am eating chilli for breakfast lunch and dinner for the next few days.
This weekend I found the most excellent of Chinese shops here in Guimarães. It lead down into the floor, where there was everything one could ever want. Granted, it might not be manufactured to the standard you’d prefer, but get a grip, it’s only €3.49!

Weather, sunny, and warm. Sorry…

Support for all

I saw this on the university website and really, what am I meant to think?

Intellectual disabilities? Exactly what form does the support take? Book clubs? First tentive steps toward debate? Philosophy? Chess openings and finally advanced stratagems?

Do they also offer counselling for the children of these intellectually lack parents? Can you imagine the meeting?

"Hi, I'm John, I first noticed my Dad was a bit thick when he made excuses not to play me at chess, I tried draughts, but he was crap at that too. The embarrassment has been terrible".

all quiet on the...

Been a bit quiet and not posting because I have become quite lazy. So I will make a more robust effort to bring the excitment of Guimarães as, when and more likely "if" it happens.
I have a fantastic chocolate chicken (NOT a euphanism) to post a picture of, I have some photos of the beach, preety, and I'm sure there is other stuff.
more soon!
Stay tuned.

first post from moon base

Happy Days today!

ah ha ha ha ha ha...
Firstly, I got a nice parcel from that great one Badger organisation, The Striped Cross.
Investigating the contents revealed: Some white Stilton with apricotes (yummy), a stainless steel tea measuring spoon (it really is the little things that keep you intouch with civilisation), Blue Dragon "Snack Noodles" x 2 (more yummy), a quarter of a kilo of extra mature Canadian Chedder (my favourite cheese of the chedder family!), a small yellow "Post it" (:o) muito happy feeshy), a selection of videographical material for entertainmental usage (thank you thank you thank you), a two pack of CO detectors (dead is my least favourite life-style choice) and last but most certainly not least, a truly startling and utterly fantastic Belgium chocolate chicken!
Thank you Striped Cross!

This is also the first post from my lovely little hovel on the hillside. Other than having an active internet connection, oh the luxury, I really have nothing much else to say.
It's not raining just now and it's not too cold.

thanks for the cheese and the chicken.

internet a go go gone

Apparently I have broadband. The router can see that I have broadband. It tells me everything is connected and happy, but when it should be talking to moonbase alpha, mission control or whatever, none of these nom de plumes respond, leaving my computer as frustrated as an autistic child.
today is mild. the sun is almost out, the sky not quite blue, and it's achieved light drizzle in my heart.
Hurrrump.
I'll add a photo later.
I'm off to see if I can buy a router for under €50

last night....

23:40, and the last minutes of February slide away. Did some of the “science” I am here for and there is a tangible sense of relief. I have tonnes more to be doing though and that is going to take time. Tonight I finally got time to watch some Top Gear, the one where they build the “shuttle”. If you haven’t seen this look for the re-runs on satellite or digital, it’s really good.
I was talking to Stuffedbadger about this, and the cool thing about TG is that whilst its focus is automotive, at no point is it actually trying to sell you a particular car. So we have a car program without the motive of car programs. That terrible 5th gear on Channel 5 comes to mind, all dull data about the drivability and fuel economy of some Daewoo shed. Who needs to be reminded they might have to buy a sensible car? Personally, I think I’ll be happy with a VW or something, but I like to watch some insane £250,000 car being hammered around a track by an anonymous racing driver.
I also finished Farscape season 3 (for about the 10th time).
Tonight I also learned how to count to 20. Now if I can do that in Portuguese too, that’d be perfect.