I see dead peo, erm, dogs...

Hmmmm.
Should something be happening?
Last night, it was hot as hell, not very comfortable at all. I was writing through the night, like an inspired bleeding heart author, or an alcoholic tabloid hack.
so, I had the window open, desperate to see some of the stale air, which has the same quality as that gust of hot air that fills your lungs when you open the oven door. It’s about 3 am and I have Snackie mooching around the apartment as it can’t sleep in this heat either. I turn around to see the stupid sod climb onto the window sill, ready to step out onto nothing but air and perhaps the promise of landing on a cat. It’s possible that it was suicidal, if I had its life I think my grip would be tenuous at best.
So, I grab the dog who, I should mention, weighs nothing at all. I know it’s small, but you still expect a full bag of groceries to weigh something. This dog, at least as big as a few sacks of potatoes, and yet weighs no more than a malteser. I did consider maybe it was my sanity that had left again, and the dog was imagined, hence no weight.
Other people have seen it though, or have they?
Might explain why it didn’t eat the dog food.
Might explain why it never brings the ball back, or indeed actually interacts with it.
Might explain why the bone thing has not a tooth mark on it.

So? The question is:

Is it a light dog?

Which would be ok, but still, it’s a VERY light dog. No mass at all.

Is it my imaginary friend?

And I’d have to ask, why did I imagine it with fleas? Mental maybe, but depraved?

Is it a ghost?

This is the one I’m going with just now. It satisfies all the criteria of howling, hellish racket making haunting. This would explain the lack of need of food and water and, It’s would be permitted to have fleas as that is a condition peculiar to it and not idiosyncratic of my weird residual dog image.It also means I can sense the paranormal, and surely that’s a talent just crying out (haunting pun!!!) to be used on a CV.

Snackie in the square

beautiful sky on way home. I want you to see it. Want to be looking at the same star at the same time. Warm breeze sweeps over me. In that car park on way to apartment. Want to reach through time and brush my hand against your cheek. You are my centre, my focus, my reason.

You've been rumbled mate!

So young Snackie is on to me. Last night it was having nothing to do with the sausages. I’m sure it gave me that, “what, you think I’m completely insane?” look. I’m sure I saw a raised eyebrow. Even my best Saint Francis of Assisi wig and habit wasn’t convincing her. I kept it on for a while though, just in case some crows dropped by. Nothing. It’s been suggested stuff the drugs in cheese and also rather cleverly in chocolate, but the image of me in the kitchen, cackling over the cooker as I fondue doggy sleeping pills is, I’m sure crossing the tracks well into mental territory.

Street, The embalmer

So had a terrible moment today with dogface. There I was reading some really interesting chemistry text when Snackie (the dog that loves to snack) starts howling like Satan himself had just popped by for tea. Could I calm the hysterical flea bitten mound of dysfunction? Have I been canonised? No, on both counts, although I am very annoyed at the second…
So, out the door the creature is directed, at some speed I should mention, might have been something to do with me yelling STFU!! Anyway, there is, I hadn’t noticed before, a rather tight right hand turn on exiting my apartment, and if you don’t make the turn a rather fatal dead drop onto some very firm stone faced stairs. There is a railing, but the bottom bar is only slightly shorter than a standing Snackie. Now, I should mention, the dog made the turn, but only just. It was skidding and sliding, and in my mind the full horror played out for the rest of the afternoon, evening, now…
So, there is only one answer. We need to make the dog more grippy. I’ve checked on the internet, you can’t get trainers for dogs, not with non-marking soles anyway. There is only one reasonable solution, there is a pun here soon to be revealed. That is, shave the dog and coat it with latex rubber! It’s genius! How come I hadn’t thought of it before? It’ll grip, be rain proof and look cool. I’m thinking to do the torso in silver grey with the legs and head black. But I’m not sure. The tail presents difficulty. Is it painful to have this docked?
Anyway, I’ve ordered the latex. This is going to be cool.
Oh yeah, it likes sausages, the special stuff Hilary!!

Once you've been medicined by me, you'll know you've been spoken to...

Ah!!! it was driving me mad again. All bloody last night and it was winding up again. I know it's not it's fault, but really, my sanity is at risk here.

See that red one!!!

So, I might have medicined the dog. Nice little parcel of lovely cooked ham and off to beddy byes. One question though, what does 5 kilos of dog actually look like? I mean, it would be very odd if I tried to get the bugger on a set of scales. It's no less than 10 kilos.

It's very quiet...

Time travelling playlist

Sometimes you need some guitar based stuff. If it’s slightly melancholic, then all the better. Sometimes. Go for a sniff and youtube or whatever.
The Temporary Thing, Time Is Slipping Away
Viva Voce, Free Nude Celebs
Garbage, Queer
Interpol, C'mere
The Sounds, Tony The Beat
The Strokes, Reptilia
The Arcade Fire, Wake Up
Röyksopp, What Else Is There? (Radio Edit)
Kasabian, I.D
Ladytron, Destroy Everything You Touch
Telephone, Occupy
Client, Here And Now
How To Swim, A Little Orgasm Of Disappointment
My Bloody Valentine, Soon
Moby, In My Heart
Thievery Corporation, Until The Morning

If you happen to be in a bar and listening to this list, then you are probably in the Celtic Knot in Braga the last weekend in May. Could you advise me to maybe play some Jane’s Addiction and perhaps lay off God Module this time round.
Oh, tell me not to drink that shot as well!

Ship wrecked...

The other day I had the most peculiar experience. Not one that I actually thought would be possible in my current environment, but isolation (Milky Joe) is obviously a mental experience as well as physical displacement. So, the “experience”. Walking up the road, towards the university, away from the post office, and I see a car, black Mercedes estate, with UK number plates! Instantly, I know the feeling as the heart of the ship wrecked skips a beat, seeing a ship off the coast of their little island. I check and can see the driver quite obviously mounted on the “correct” side of the vehicle, I break into a slight run, god knows why! But it just pulls away further and further. And in my mind I am on the beach, my clothes and my resolve in tatters as the first ship I’ve seen sails away, around the corner and up past the castle. Bastards!

weekend

Finally doing this as I’m trying to avoid the reading I should be catching up on. Bad, bad, bad. Friday, myself and evil friend went to Porto to hear loud industrial after finding out that Swing had been flamed. Ended up in the place suggested in the previous post’s comment area and I have to say the music was very good. Very very very good indeedie yes. The people were very nice too. Met some lovely chatty people and had fun dancing most of the night. At one point we dropped by Heaven’s Gothic Bar, but the music was a bit death metal for my tastes. But it was friendly and the guy said the music was unusual for there, so I may journey back there some time. Wish Swing wasn’t dead, like the venue there. Whilst at the other place, Fabrica do Som, I was chatting to a guy from a band, Oxygen, and he gave me a disc. We likes free stuff we does. And you know, it’s rather good. They have a myspace and I think it’s here http://www.myspace.com/0xyg3n
what else, spiked hair, it went floppy on one side. :o) got back to guimaraes and I was so tempted to just sleep in the bus shelter at the bottom of the hill. woke up saturday afternoon with downstairs dog sitting in the middle of floor waiting to be let out. I have no recollection of letting it in...
Back to the grind..

Soporific

Ok, I actually feel inclined to try this again. Last night was a bit of a weird one, ended up having a few G&T’s (Bombay Sapphire of course yes!) and watching QI. The dog started howling out in the stairwell and I kind of knew how it felt, so I invited it in for snacks. It finally got bored of eating, who’d have thought it? Then it started sort of puppy play biting of my feet, which was weird as it was actually quite pleasurable. Eventually, it got too much for it, it went out onto the balcony to get some air where it passed out from the fumes.

Have I slipped into the abyss? And if I have, what abyss have I slipped into? It’s ok, I’m not going to go of the rails and start painting myself with bone marrow.
Think I’m venturing back to Porto this weekend, so spiky hair and falling asleep in clubs for me.
Today, I’ve been mainly sweating and listening to All About Eve (“She moves through the fair”, “Shelter” and “in the meadow” on loop for about two hours, and Seelenkrank, “Engelschrei”. Hmmm, Nephilim time I think…

so you think I'm weird?

I hate this fucking blog. I just wrote about 500 words and it disappeared.
I'm alive.
the full depth of that you won't know.
arse

Bread!!! for my bread gun.

working working working...
Last week, I got extra bread every day. Two pretty little round bun type rolly things. Tasty too. I thought maybe I had been a good bread customer, and they were a strange bread based reward. Which begs the question, how does one attain such a level of bread based goodliness that you might get larger breads, maybe with dried tomato and such like?
Anyway, I digress; it’s just possible that what I actually got was stray bread. As this week someone, there are not many suspects, has been burgling my bread bag. Which my fellows is not a euphemism to anything other than grand bread larceny.
Tomorrow, I can either reclaim the bag after the breadman has been. Or I could lie in wait, opening the door and catching them red handed. I rather favour the second, but as I am very busy I'm more inclined to put a small bag of flour in there. No, not to suggest that the bread had regressed to its initial state, although that would be kind of funny too.
Back to work.
Até logo

ho hum..

found this on you tube when I should have been working.

Fantastic!!!

yesterdays dog biscuits

Last night I was up writing till about 3.30. which really isn't all that late. but when I went to bed the bloody dog started howling and running through it's usual open mike routine. Frankly it sounded like it was being grated. I actually thought of the benefits of it getting lost somewhere really distant. Then I lay awake feeling guilty that I could be so heartless as it's only a poor little pooch who just wants a hug. Hell I know how the damn thing feels. but then, I don't wander the streets wailing. Oh, hang on...
what happens if you lace the water with Vodka? does it get drowsy or dead? Also, I don't want him to get a fear of water because of hangovers. I just want him to STFU.
right I have work to do. weather here is finally improving, but the lab is very chilly. I have my psychic badger jumper so I'm impervious to it all. ah ha ha ha et cetera...